Love The One You're With

I really love this blog (see button on the bottom left).  When I have a few minutes, I take time to read what she writes.  Lauren is funny, honest, stylish, and witty.  Though, the thing I love most about her posts is the value she places on her marriage.

While many readers who are older or who have been married for many years may be cynical about her outlook, or even think she's a little corny (which I LOVE!), I find her perspective unusually refreshing.  When I first started reading her posts, I thought, "Is she serious?!?!  Nobody is that gushy."  However, after nearly 2 years of following, I'm kind of gushy like that, too.  And (surprise?), my marriage is better and stronger than ever.

Now, my interest in all things health-related is no secret (unless I've never mentioned it, in which case, the cat's out of the bag), and I was recently introduced to a concept called "Blue Zones" by Dan Beuttner.  Please note: I have not yet read the book!  However, after exploring the accompanying website, I learned some valuable information regarding the keys to health.  Mr. Beuttner's plan for optimum health and well-being is described in the following 9-point plan:

1.  Move (find ways to move mindlessly, make moving unavoidable)

2.  Plan de Vida (know your purpose in life)

3.  Down Shift (work less, slow down, rest, take vacation)

4.  80% Rule (stop eating when you're 80% full)

5.  Plant-Power (more veggies, less protein and processed foods)

6.  Red Wine (consistency and moderation)

7.  Belong (create a healthy social network)

8.  Beliefs (spiritual or religious participation)

9.  Your Tribe (make family a priority)

Now, I am not interested in dissecting each point and explaining the ways in which we can adjust our lives to fit into this plan.  Although, I think this is a pretty awesome blueprint for longevity and healthful living.

I am interested, though, in pointing out how reading Lauren's blog fits in to the overall wellness of the community of over 1, 500 people who follow her.  Lauren's belief in the importance of marriage and her reinforcement of that belief through her writing encourages each reader to seek out the good in their own relationships.  She may publish a post describing the joyful events of her weekend with her husband, and then ask, "What brought you joy this weekend?"

Most responders share a moment with their spouse or boyfriend, or a moment shared with friends.  In this way, Lauren creates #7, a healthy social community to which readers belong.  Healthy living, happiness, and joy are the foundation on which this ongoing dialogue is based, and readers do find these qualities in their own lives.  The search for good soon becomes effortless. 

The importance of belonging to a healthy community of people can mean many things.  As Beuttner points out, joining a running group builds a sense of belonging, and healthy people encourage each other to live healthfully.  Likewise, joining a group of people who value marriage builds a sense of belonging, and encourages the kind of nurturing that a healthy marriage requires.  Additionally, I sought these relationships in real life, and the women with whom I associate all share the same love of their husbands, and place the same value on their marriage.  No priority trumps marriage.  None.

This November will mark the 10-year anniversary of our first date.  As of writing, we've been married for 4 and a half years.  While much of our marriage has been frought with intense financial stress, family stress, and stress from outside forces, I've learned that my marriage is the most stable, sustaining force in my life.  The world could be crumbling around me, and Dave is there, every time, to keep me from falling.  As his wife, my job is to be that force for him.  When he comes home from work, I try to make our home a haven of peace and security (although with two kids, am I attempting the impossible?).  I work, happily, to be the person for him that he is to me.  What greater purpose could I find than to be a force of security to my spouse?  In turn, the side effect of our strong marriage is the example we set for our children.  We hope that our children see the value of human beings, respect each other, and love fealessly.

Neither of us is perfect.  We're not going to get it right every time.  But effort is the key, and we try to get better.  Working on my marriage is a daily task, and it is joyful work.  The rewards are endless, sustaining, satisfying. 

What have you done today for someone you love?