Preschool Graduation

*Sigh*

Today is Alexandria's last day of preschool.  Well, she had her last day on Thursday, but today's the graduation.  I'm mixed up with my emotions.  Today is one of those days that embodies the essence of my experience in parenthood.

She's growing.  And fast.  She began reading about a week and a half ago.  She's aware of her shoe sizes and her clothing sizes and has strong opinions about her unique sense of fashion.  Her generosity and sensitivity humble me daily.  The concept of right vs. wrong is beginning to make sense, and she needs less explanation for why some choices are better than others.  She's grown an inch and a half and a shoe size.

She says things like, "That's adorable" and "Oh my gosh!  I can't believe it!"

She pours her own water, rinses her own plate, makes her own snacks, packs her own overnight bag, and (usually) says "Thank you" for her meal.

Two days ago, she willingly participated in cleaning up her toys.  I daresay, she executed the task enthusiastically!  After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I lavished praise and joined in the Wonderpets "Teamwork" song.

She just woke up (without waking her brother) and wrangled Dave into some cozy morning time.  They're discussing the meaning of her preschool graduation.

I know I'm going to lose my mind and cry tears and make the ugly face.  As much joy as I take in my growing children, I mourn the real loss of the quirkiness, silliness, and sheer smallness of their little beings.  Watching their mental, physical, and spiritual development satisfies my soul, and I work hard to stay in the moment of their lives.  However, these acute moments in their lives punctuate the passage of time in my own.  They remind me that I'm growing older too, and that all these good things reach their inevitable end.  I see my own mortality in their developing muscles and growing bones.  My children's growing list of accomplishments prevent me from living in a bubble of denial.  I can't remain forever youthful and stagnant when I am inundated daily with reminders of our collective growth and maturity.  This moment is one to celebrate!  I feel washed in both loss and gratitude for bearing witness to these lives, including my own.

*Breathe*

So today Dave and I, along with our parents, will watch Alexandria graduate from preschool.  We're a decade older than when we first met, dazed by silliness and irresponsibility.  Here we are together, enmeshed in the daily responsibilities of adulthood and parenthood.  We're celebrating these lives we've brought forth, reflecting simple graces we encounter daily.

I'm going to cry.  But I can't say I'm sad for the passage of time.  What is, is.  I accept that.  I think I'm moved less by the loss of an age, and more by the privilege of being alive to see it pass.

*Crying*